My Brain on Sick

When I get a "flare up", that is, when I start vomiting like none other and wish death would finally just come to take away the misery, my brain becomes only half-coherent.
It doesnt connect things together the way it normally would, its like I am in a dream state, though I am still awake.  I'm aware of what is going on around me, but I start having hallucinations and strange thoughts go through my mind.
Usually the vomiting starts in the evening for me, so I spend that time in bed, with my head leaning over the side into the garbage can.  I can't get comfortable any other way.  I feel extremely nauseas, on the verge of vomiting if I am not over a garbage or toilet, but as soon as I reach the toilet or garbage, the nausea isn't as strong.  It's more comfortable in a bed over a garbage then leaning against a toilet, so that is where most of my vomit takes place.  I always have tissue, water, and anti-nausea pills ready on my bed stand, because I never know when my flare up will happen.

So step by step of what happens during a typical flare up.  I begin to feel extremely nauseas, on the verge of vomiting, and just the thought of what is about to come drains me of any energy.  I go to bed, laying on my side.  I prop my pillows so my head and shoulders are propped up, and on the edge of the bed.  I make sure garbage is below and i rest there.  I take a promethezine if I think I can keep it down, but usually swallowing that is what brings on the vomiting.  Between vomiting, , my brain becomes completely muddled, and I cant tell if I am drifting in and out of consciousness or not.  Its like when you are sedated, except you are having extremely vivid dreams that don't ever make sense (ever been pregnant? those kind of dreams!)  I chalk it up to my misery and dehydration.
After several long hours of vomiting every 20 minutes or so, I am wishing I could actually rest and fall asleep.  I keep drifting asleep, but once I actually fall asleep, I am woken with the urge to vomit again.  This lasts usually till early morning, till I get so dehydrated (probably should be hospitalized but no insurance) I literally pass out because I am just too weak to go on.
When I wake the next morning, I am usually extremely weak, but I feel well enough to get down the promethezine (phenergan, anti-nausea pills) and some small sips of gatorade, and start the process of rehydrating myself, sleeping/resting, and just over-all thanking God I survived another night, despite the prayers of wishing it all would just end.